Ok ladies and gents, I am about to open that can of worms, acknowledge the elephant in the room, talk about what no one else wants to. Sex, alcohol, and cussing. Maybe not at all the same time but if it toots your horn, do it!
Sex: We have all done it, or I would hope as a parent to children you have. Unless you are Virgin Mary Mother of Jesus and in that case, forgive me and God Bless.Weather you are having tons of it, or not enough (according to my husband this is where we fall), it is natural. Naturally awkward for most. Don’t get me wrong I don’t go out telling everyone and their mom about my sex life but if the topic comes up, I dont act like I am a virgin. I don’t want the awkwardness that comes with the words sex, penis, vagina, orgasm, or dildo. So say it, say it loud and proud. Say it again. Still awkward? Well loss cause. On to the next topic shall we?
Alcohol: Okay, I see alcohol in three different categories: you don’t drink at all, you drink (most of us are here), or you drink excessively to the point where you are irresponsible (those young people who don’t have kids yet). Whatever category you find yourself in, we have all been there. Don’t drink? Tell me how you do it please. Drink excessively? Been there, done that, years ago or was it days ago I forget *wink*. Or like most of us you drink to survive the day with a bit of sanity left or drink to accept the loss of your sanity. Weather you are sneeking away to the bathroom with a bottle of wine or taking a shot at noon just to make it through the rest of the day, alcohol is a must in my book. *sip of alcoholic beverage*
Cussing: This is a tricky topic for one reason, a lot of people do it but don’t want to admit they do it in front of their kids. God for bid they hear their parent be human. I am not writing this post to be controversial by the way. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. I am merely sharing mine. My kids have heard me say quite a few cuss words. “Come pick up your shit”. Road rage and Wal-Mart rage “Crazy Bitch learn how to fucking drive” “Move Fucktard” When I am usually at my wits end they hear ” Get your ass over here NOW”. Not to their face of course, but i have called the turds assholes and shitheads. Cussing, it happens and there is no shame in it. Fuck, bitch, ass, asshole, motherfucker, shit, damn, frick, fudge, and crap (for the prude). Just words in my vocabulary, not a means of judgement.
So here I sit drinking, thinking of sex, and yelling profanities at Facebook.
Until next time, Cheer bitches!